: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
