His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Drake has all the answers
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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