Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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