im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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