There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
