What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
