I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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