member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize