I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
