She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
