So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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