I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
