You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
