Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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