Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
