I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize