if you like me you must not know who I am
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
did you just send me my own nude
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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