we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize