How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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