Whod you bang
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
