It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
