The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
