Christians are straight up FREAKS
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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