i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
