So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
