So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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