we have pet lesbian snakes
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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