Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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