omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
