It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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