I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
