very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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