I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I wish i was in the wii world.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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