i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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