i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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