Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
