On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
