i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
