I just pynch a tree in the face
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize