thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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