She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
