I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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