haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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