??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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