i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
