The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
