pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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