btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
