I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
