Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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