Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
