I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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