A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
