sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
