wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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