woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
