please come you make the beer taste better
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
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