we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
