Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You've changed since you got that strap on
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
