I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
